The Case Against The Tote Bag (3 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Carry A Tote)

The time has come, once again, for me to complain about something trivial.

In today’s installment of our “The Case Against” series, I am tackling an item that, quite frankly, I hardly ever see on seasonal “Must Have” lists from well-trafficked menswear sites.

Unlike, say, the henley or the denim jacket, this item has flown under the radar a bit for the average men’s style reader.

However, even though I never really see people write or talk about this item, I constantly see it in pictures of very well-dressed dudes.

I am talking about the tote (or “tote bag”).

And I know I am about to contradict what I just wrote, but the idea to write about the tote sprang to mind after reading a recent article on StyleGirlfriend. The gentleman featured in the article was photographed carrying a tote and there were a few sentences about how much he liked it and how practical it was (although the whole article wasn’t centered about the tote).

That got me really thinking about how often I see pics of guys carrying totes and wondered if this is something that is catching on.

Thankfully, I don’t think it has really gained too much traction yet, since I hardly ever see anyone in New York City carrying one.

Laptop bags? Yup. Messenger bags? Check. Backpacks? Affirmative.

No totes.

Granted New York City is only one city, but it’s a pretty good barometer of what’s popular in the world of menswear.

The tote hasn’t really caught on quite yet with the average man, which is a good thing, in my opinion. But you, as a style-conscious gent, might be thinking about ways to up your game even further and might be tempted to try out a tote.

Here are three reasons why I believe you shouldn’t…

#1. They are not practical.

It would seem, at first blush, that a giant bag with giant handles would be a great choice to cart around all your crap. But let’s look at the anatomy of a tote and how those features stand up to other common bag options when it comes to practicality.

First off, the tote has a huge open mouth.

This is terribly impractical if you plan on using a tote for any sort of regular commute. Is it raining today? Better not use your tote as all your stuff is going to get soaked. You’d be much better off with the flap of a messenger bag or the water-tight zipper of a laptop bag.

Do you have anything of relative value in the bag? I sure hope not, because that massive gaping maw is a pretty excellent invitation for unscrupulous individuals with sticky fingers.

Second, the tote has long, dangly, strappy handles.

The bag hangs quite low to the ground when a man of average height is carrying it. This means that he will be bumping and scraping that bag against pretty much everything like curbs and subway stairs.

And if you have anything heavy in the bag, the long handles mean the weight is swinging around by your ankles instead of up near your hand where it is much more comfortable to carry.

My wife has a few of those quilted, floral, Vera Bradley bags that have similarly long handles and they are absolutely terrible to carry for that very reason.

Lastly, a tote has very little structure. I don’t know about you, but I’ll often slide a travel coffee mug or water bottle into the side pocket of my laptop bag. Since my bag has a bit of a shape, it keeps the mug or bottle upright. You can’t do this with a tote since it’s basically a pillowcase with handles.

On that same note, do you like to keep your pens, ear buds, notebook, and computer wires all separate when you’re carrying them from home to the office? I sure do. I wouldn’t want my laptop rolling around with all that other stuff. Unfortunately, that’s what you’re going to deal with unless the tote has a bunch of separate compartments. But then it’s pretty much just a regular computer bag with annoyingly long handles that allows all your stuff to get rained on.

#2. They do not look professional.

There is a reason totes are common for people going to the beach. When you are getting ready to go to the beach you go “Oh crap, I need sunblock! Oh crap, I need water! Oh crap, I need toys for the kids! Oh crap, I need an extra towel! Oh crap, I need to pack snacks! Oh crap, I need cash!”

And you just chuck it all into a bottomless bag.

Totes do not scream “organization” nor do they convey any sense of professionalism. Having your stuff in a tote makes you look disorganized.

If you are using your bag in a professional setting why on Earth would you opt for something that looks like the reusable bag you use at the farmer’s market? A leather laptop bag, attache case, or briefcase is much more refined and professional looking, not to mention classic.

Totes are trendy.

#3. They look girly.

A tote looks like a purse.

There’s just no other way to say it. It’s slouchy and dangly and feminine looking. It just does not look masculine.

Now, if that’s ok with you then that’s totally fine. But just make sure you understand the perception.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that I don’t believe that women find it all that appealing for a man to carry a tote. Not only does it look like a handbag, but what does he need all that stuff for?

A man has his wallet, phone, and other EDC like a pocket knife on his person. He needs to carry his laptop, notebook, and other work affects in his bag. But beyond that? Carrying around a giant sack just seems silly.

A worn leather briefcase or an obviously well-traveled shoulder bag is much more attractive in the eyes of a woman than a tote.

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t wear (or carry) something simply because women think it’s unattractive. Trust me, if I was worried about that I wouldn’t wear suspenders, bow ties, and fedoras on the regular.

But we all have a perception of what is “attractive” because of how we feel we are perceived by the opposite sex.

Maybe carrying a tote for you is like wearing a fedora for me, in that you don’t really care in that instance because you happen to like that particular thing. That’s all ok. This is just one man’s opinion.

But, when it comes down to it, if you are the kind of guy that doesn’t want to look he is carrying a purse, then don’t opt for a tote. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to carry a purse, but there’s also nothing wrong with NOT wanting to carry a purse.

My biggest issue with the tote is that there are just so many better options out there. A tote provides zero tangible benefits over other choices already mentioned.

The tote tries to be an answer to a question no one asked. It tries to be a solution to a problem no one has.