7 Tips For Buying Gifts For Your Wife
When I was young, my dad told me how much he enjoyed getting gifts for people. He said that getting a gift for someone requires the giver to really think deeply about the recipient.
What do they like? Why do they like those things? What experiences have we shared together? What have we talked about recently? What do I like that I think will interest them? What makes them happy?
Getting a gift for someone turns into a meditation on who that person is and why we love them.
It is important that, as a husband, you demonstrate competence in giving gifts to your wife. Just like no woman dreams of being married to a sloppy dresser, no woman dreams of being married to a man who gives thoughtless gifts or worse, forgets to give gifts entirely.
Being a bad gift-giver is a sign of being a shitty husband. It shows your wife that she isn’t important to you, and that you had better things to do than put in the time and effort to get her a good gift.
Do not fulfill the stereotype of the clueless husband. That is a terrible example to set for your children. Don’t you want your kids to see how a man is supposed to treat a woman? Do you want your sons to fumble the ball each time they’re supposed to give a gift to a girl? Do you want your daughters to think it’s ok for their husbands to forget their birthdays?
Keep in mind that not all gifts have to be winners. My wife and I are very honest if we struggle with what to get each other for birthdays or Christmases. But the reason that’s ok is because we both know the effort the other person has put into finding something great.
We both have track records of considerate, thoughtful gifts which makes the inevitable pit-fall completely understandable.
Are you in a situation where your wife sadly expects crap gifts from you every time? Want to level up and really show her how a man gives gifts?
Read on for seven tips for buying gifts for your wife.
#1 – Know her sizes.
Yes, “sizes”. Plural. Because she is a different size depending on which company you’re purchasing from.
Women don’t have the same luxury as men when it comes to shopping for clothes, as in, having exact inch measurements. Women’s sizing is vague and fluctuates wildly from, not only company to company, but product to product.
Depending on your wife’s body, she might be one size in dresses and another in shirts, even if those products are from the same place. And depending on the material (stretchy or not), or cut of the item (slim or loose), she might prefer a completely different size.
It’s a lot to consider. Just ask her what her sizes are and she will give you details. Or, just check the sizes on some of her favorite items she already owns.
THEN WRITE THEM DOWN.
I have a note on my phone that lists several companies and what my wife’s sizes are for each. I refer to it each time I sit down to find a gift for her.
Once you come across something you think she’ll like, make sure you read the reviews. Often, you’ll find out something runs small, or is tight across the bust, or whatever. Use this new information to determine whether it will work for your wife.
At this point, you can be reasonably sure that whatever you get will fit her. And if it doesn’t, it was through no fault of yours. You went through the same process she, herself, would have gone through to purchase this item.
It’s a myth that men cannot buy clothes for women. We can, we just need to do a little homework.
#2 – Take notes throughout the year.
Even though it’s several months before the holidays, it’s important to think about potential gift ideas throughout the year, given how many gift-giving opportunities are sprinkled throughout the calendar.
Birthday, Mother’s Day, Valentine’s Day, anniversary, seasonal holidays. These don’t even count things like milestones or accomplishments.
When an idea strikes you, write it down immediately. You will forget it if you don’t.
Then, when an occasion pops up, you will have an existing list of good ideas on which to draw. Couldn’t be easier!
The key is to keep that running list.
#3 – Note her interests.
This is fairly obvious since this is the basis for most gifts, but make sure you take note of not only what your wife’s interests are, but of things she has recently become interested in.
For example: my wife has always liked cooking and girly dresses. I know if I get her something related to those things, it will be a hit. This year, she has gotten hardcore into gardening. So, in order to support her new interest, I bought her a fancy gardening tool.
Have a handful of things in your mind that you know your wife likes. Then think of things that are either directly or tangentially related to those things.
#4 – Pay attention to hints.
Usually, hints aren’t great in a relationship. Just say what you need to say and don’t expect someone to read your mind.
But when it comes to gifts, there’s nothing wrong with someone slyly, or not so slyly, mentioning that something caught their eye. Or that they could “really use” such-and-such.
If it seems like a hint is being given, pay attention! Jot it down if you need to. She is providing the exact information you need in order to get her something she wants.
#5 – Keep track of gifts you have given her in the past.
Sometimes, we fall into a rut of getting our wives the same “kinds” of gifts over and over again. Usually, this is because those gifts have been successful in the past.
There’s certainly nothing wrong with that. If you have discovered that your wife is over-the-moon each time you get her a pair of earrings, then it’s ok to stick with what works.
But if you start to think she might get a little bored with the same kinds of things, or if you just want to make sure you’re giving great, well-thought-out gifts, you might want to start keeping track of the items you give her.
Seeing a list of birthday and holiday presents year-over-year for the past few years will help you identify that repetition and can encourage you to think outside the box for something truly special this time around.
It will also help you avoid accidentally doubling up on something you already gave her.
#6 – Know what companies/brands are “winners”.
Just like you’re going to start keeping a list of what sizes your wife is in different companies, you are also going to start keeping a list of companies or brands that she prefers.
Maybe she likes the style, or the fit, or the mission of a particular company. Jot it down so that the next time you’re stumped for what to get her, you can peruse their website for something to strike you. This list of companies will be your go-to when the “gift inspiration” isn’t particularly strong.
Even if what you ultimately get her isn’t up to your usual standard of gift, it will be from a company she likes, so there is a good chance she’ll love it.
#7 – Spread out your good ideas.
My wife’s birthday is in mid-December. Our anniversary is in mid-January.
That means I have four important dates on the calendar all within close proximity: Birthday, Christmas, Anniversary, Valentine’s Day.
I have learned that if I have a handful of good gift ideas, I need to spread them out over those occasions, so I have something really good to give at each one. I advise you to do the same, even if the days aren’t in rapid succession.
The reason for spreading out your good gift ideas is to ensure you have something excellent ready to go. It will free up your mind to possibly think of other things without feeling the pressure of a deadline.
You will ensure that for each special day you have at least one real banger of a gift.
With all these tips, you might feel a little overwhelmed. It does sound like a lot of work when it’s all written out on the page.
I assure you, it’s not difficult to jot down a few notes here and there and keep your ears pricked for any clues that might float your way.
Remember, it’s not the gift itself, it’s the thought and the effort.
As long as you are putting forth an honest-to-goodness effort to get your wife a great gift, it doesn’t matter what that gift is.
If you follow these seven tips, though, you are sure to knock it out of the park.
