Lessons In Style From My 6-Year-Old

We are all loving parents with nothing but the best of intentions.

Going through our days, we are always looking for ways to instruct our children. Always looking for those “teachable” moments.

Heck, this site is devoted to using clothes to teach our kids about life.

But sometimes we just need to sit back and learn from them!

Case in point: my six-year-old son.

Now, since he is only six, he is far too young to care about what he wears. He doesn’t yet have that social awareness that the things he wears will either be accepted or rejected by his peers or the wider world. I’m happy about that. Clothes are a source of stress for many people, especially men, so I’m cherishing this time in his life where he just doesn’t care (and neither do any of his classmates).

But it’s exactly his nonchalance that makes him so darn stylish!

And really, all kids are inherently stylish since none of them give a damn about what they have on! We adults are always searching for that level of insouciance and we never really attain it.

My son just throws on whatever he fancies in that moment and charges out the door to tackle the day. If he were some 20-something living in Brooklyn he would have a thriving social media presence and be hailed for his style acumen.

But he’s just a kid. So, how does he do it?

Well, beyond the aforementioned carelessness, my son’s clothes are all pretty non-descript. Sure, we bought his clothes for him, but we didn’t do that on purpose. We just bought clothes for him that we knew he would like.

Sweatpants in various colors. Jeans. Cotton pants in navy or tan with reinforced knees. T-shirts with cartoon characters or American flags or dinosaurs. Colorful sneakers. A jacket or two depending on what the weather is. Sometimes a baseball cap from his tee-ball team.

The point is that everything he wears naturally goes together. He could pull any clothing combination out of his closet and it would look like it was expertly coordinated.

The lesson here for us grown-ups is that a non-flashy, pared-down wardrobe goes a long way. Can you pull a random shirt, random pants, random shoes, and a random jacket out of your closet, toss it on and confidently conquer the day? If you can’t, maybe having too much choice is hindering your ability to feel confident in your style.

Also, my son’s clothes are authentic. By that, I mean that we didn’t purposely buy things for him to make him look like a stylish kid. Some parents buy their kids Ramones t-shirts or Brooklyn Dodger baseball caps, even though the kid has no clue who or what those things are. Those parents just want other adults to think their kid is the cool kid. The PARENTS think those things are cool, not the kid.

My son has dinosaurs and rocket ships on his shirts because HE thinks that dinosaurs and rocket ships are cool (which they absolutely are). This means that he genuinely loves the things he puts on every morning. That’s authentic.

Lastly, my son is unapologetic and fearless about his style choices. Some days he wants to dress like a cowboy. Other days he wants to dress like a soldier. As adults, we might be afraid of wearing something with strong connotations to a specific archetype. A denim shirt, or a western belt, or cowboy boots, or camo jacket, might feel a bit like cosplay to an adult. We sometimes wear those things and hope that people DON’T notice them.

But my son wants people to know he is a cowboy or soldier that day. Again… fearless.

Sometimes when I wear my black, double-rider, motorcycle jacket, I worry that people might think I am trying to look like a biker. But what’s so bad about that?! It’s nice to just be noticed, honestly.

People don’t think about us as much as we worry they do. And if they think about us at all, they don’t really care about us that much. If someone sees you wearing a pair of cowboy boots, no one is going to make fun of you. If they even give you a passing thought, they’ll just think you like wearing cowboy boots.

I’ve written before that I would rather be the bold dad in the leather jacket than the timid dad in the hoodie.

I think the real reason I find my son so stylish, is because I am so utterly taken by how devastatingly handsome he is. And it’s not just his physical presentation. He is sweet and caring and sensitive and is filled with love for his family, especially his little brother. He has an inner light that just shoots out of him like a lighthouse. I’m in constant awe and amazement at what a fine young man he is. I couldn’t be a prouder papa.

That’s why, whenever he sits down next to me at the breakfast table before school, I look at him, smile, and think, “You look great!”