Your Hair Says A Lot About Your Style

Hair is a kind of a weird part of our personal appearance and style.

There isn’t much we can really DO about it. In that sense, it’s kind of like our body type. The kind of hair you’re born with is what you’re stuck with.

That being said, we do have a little bit of control over how it looks. Some men take that and become the “don’t touch the hair” guy, which is never a good thing. Other guys just don’t put any effort whatsoever into how their hair looks. That’s not great either.

So, overall, what should our relationship be with our hair?

I like to view my hair in the same way I view tying a necktie or wearing a pocket square. When you’re wearing a tie, you tie it in the morning and then kind of forget about it for the rest of the day. Sure, you’ll rearrange it if it blows over your shoulder or if it’s about to dip into your soup, but once it’s in place, the normal fluctuations in appearance throughout the day are what add to its good looks.

That’s how your hair should be.

Your hair, no matter its style, should move and flow with you. I mean that literally and figuratively. What I mean is, don’t be so fussy and fastidious that what’s atop your head needs to be perfect all day.

When I was younger, I had no idea how to comb my hair. No one ever really taught me how to do it and I never bothered to learn until I was well into my twenties. When I was in high school, I used a TON of hair gel to the point where my hair was like a helmet. In college I paid no attention to how my hair looked and just let it “exist” in a somewhat cropped, non-descript style. After college, I was all about buzzing it down to a very short crew-cut.

The common thread through those years was that I was completely insecure about how my hair looked, so I, without even thinking about it, chose hairstyles that made it IMPOSSIBLE for my hair to be “messy”. I was NOT confident in my own style at the time and my hair was a reflection of that.

Even when I got a pretty good handle on classic menswear, I was still buzzing my hair since I couldn’t stand it being out of place for a second. I was so tightly wound and so concerned about getting any of the details “wrong” that I needed to have complete control over my hair. Even though I knew, with some competence, how to put a proper outfit together, I wasn’t wearing my clothes with any ease. I was still fussy and fastidious about my clothes and worried about making sure everything was tailored just so. I made sure to match all my metals and leathers. I had a mountain of socks in all different shades to perfectly match whatever pair of trousers I was wearing.

I think my hair was trying to tell me something. I think it was trying to tell me that I didn’t feel comfortable in my own adult skin, yet.

It’s been about five years since I stopped shaving my head and let my hair grow into a normal hair style. I feel that my hair style matured because I matured. I stopped worrying so much about having complete control over something. I became much less fearful of getting things “wrong”, style-wise. Around that time is when I became confident enough (since I had been doing it for long enough) to start breaking those stupid internet rules for menswear. I stopped doing internet searches about if it’s ok to wear this with that. I stopped buying crap I didn’t need. I just kind of relaxed into my own way of dressing. It all came together and started feeling comfortable. It started feeling like me.

For those of you reading this, I imagine there are things you worry about when it comes to your own hair. Specifically, going grey or going bald.

On the topic of going grey, I have always been of the opinion that it’s a mistake to dye your hair. We men are lucky in that we are respected more and often seen as more attractive if our years show a little bit. I say, take advantage of it! Say you’re in your forties. You’re not going to be mistaken for being in your twenties if you dye your grey hair brown. What are you hoping to achieve? Why would you want people to think you’re younger than you are?

In my mind, dying one’s hair is kind of womanly. Embrace your age and embrace your grey.

On the topic of going bald, I really don’t think men should worry about it. Never in my life have I heard a woman say that baldness is unattractive. I’ve never seen a woman disparage a man as being unsexy simply because he was bald.

If he tries to cover it up in some weird way, then yes, that’s unattractive. That reeks of insecurity and it’s the insecurity that’s unattractive, not the baldness itself.

I mean, am I wrong? I could be, but I don’t think I am. Baldness is just not one of the things that registers on really anyone’s radar as unattractive. There have even been studies showing that a large chunk of women actually PREFER bald men!

I think the key in both instances (greying and baldness) is to have confidence, which really is the key to everything having to do with style. Our hair is something we don’t have a ton of control of, though, so it’s important to simply accept it as what it is. Gaining that confidence is always a tough nut to crack, but it comes with time and practice.

Your hair is a reflection of your entire style. Are you picky and fussy about how your hair looks all day? Then you’re probably picky and fussy in all areas of your life, especially with the rest of your wardrobe. On the other hand, if you’re easy and breezy with whatever hair style you have, but also put a little bit of effort into its execution, then that is probably evident in the rest of your style, too.   

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