Why Dads Should Wear Real Watches (Instead Of Smartwatches)

My last article about being disconnected from technology got me thinking a little bit about my own aversion to “tech”.

I mentioned in that article about how I’ve never really been into gadgets and how the latest technology doesn’t interest me.

Even when I was kid, I preferred to play with sticks rather than remote-control cars. If I had a toy with batteries in it, I would remove them so that I could play with the toy how I wanted and make my own sounds.

Maybe that’s at the heart of it all. Maybe I just don’t like feeling like something has control over me. I recently limited my social media use for that very reason: I felt like it had embedded itself in my daily life in a way that made me feel icky. I didn’t like that I was chasing those little dopamine hits when I opened the app. I felt like a lab rat.

Also, why the hell would I spend so much time making someone ELSE’S site look good instead of using that time to make MY OWN site better?

Anyway.

Now, I know this article is about watches, but I’ve never considered myself a “watch guy”. I’ve said as much in most of my other watch articles just so you know that my opinion you’re about to read is not rooted in some sort of weird obsession-bordering-on-fetish that many internet menswear weirdos have for watches.

I don’t have a “collection”. I wouldn’t buy a watch because of its resale value. I don’t know reference numbers off the top of my head. I think many expensive watches are ugly.

I own a grand total of four watches. Three of them I received as gifts. The only watch I purchased for myself was a $100 steel Timex.

That all said, I absolutely appreciate a nice watch the same way I appreciate a nice suit. I’ll notice if someone is wearing a quality watch but that’s only because I know what quality menswear looks like at a distance.

I don’t view watches as assets. I also don’t view them as trifles. I look at them as dependable companions, not dissimilar from a good hat or pair of boots.

Like those items, a good watch is something I can wear every day, everywhere I go! That’s what is so appealing about a watch. It’s not like a tuxedo or something that I can only feasibly wear once in a while. I can take a watch with me wherever I go and develop a real connection to it.

So, I’ve established that I don’t particularly like technology and I do like watches. It’s no surprise then that I wouldn’t wear a smartwatch.

But what baffles me about smartwatches is how popular they are, especially with a particular demographic of men. Let me explain…

I’m sure you all know a guy who has a record player. He likes coffee, but only from small, independent shops (never Starbucks!). He knows his way around a bourbon flight. He enjoys hiking and getting out in nature. He probably buys organic produce at a farmers’ market. He’s a sucker for marketing copy that includes words like “artisan” and “hand-made”. He’s concerned about his carbon footprint.

Do you have a picture in your mind of the type of guy I’m talking about? Obviously, I am painting a bit of a caricature, but I’m trying to create the image of a modern, fairly-young, professional type who has enough disposable income to afford healthy habits and is reasonably socially conscious.

Can someone explain then, why-oh-why there is, inevitably, a smartwatch strapped to this guy’s wrist?

A real, honest-to-goodness wristwatch seems like a piece of personal accoutrement that would be a no-brainer for this man.

A watch lasts almost forever. A smartwatch lasts only a couple of years before you have to get a new one. Talk about waste.

A watch doesn’t need to be charged. True, a mechanical watch needs to be wound on occasion and a quartz-battery watch will stop after about five years (and then can be replaced easily), but an automatic watch will continue to tick away as long as your body moves once every three days. Most smartwatches have to be charged every day or so.

Watches are made either by well-known brands with storied histories going back sometimes more than 100 years or plucky, start-ups bringing back vintage designs for a fraction of the price of the larger manufacturers. In either case, many watch companies have interesting stories. Most smartwatches, on the other hand, are churned out by the same companies that make all the other disposable, plastic crap in your house.

A regular watch cannot track health stats like daily steps and sleep patterns like a smartwatch can, I’ll give you that. But is that information really all that important beyond just being somewhat interesting? I don’t know of anyone who has ever done anything with all the information they gather on their wearable devices.

Great, you entered your REM cycle fourteen minutes earlier last night than the night before. So what?

I like to look at regular watches versus smartwatches through my “dad lens”. To illustrate the point I’m about to make, I will reference a scene in To Kill A Mockingbird (the film) in which Atticus is talking with Scout and mentions that his watch is his only possession of value and that it’s customary for a man to leave his watch to his son.

A real watch has value that goes beyond just what you can sell it for. A smartwatch doesn’t.

I want to be able to pass things down to my kids that were “part” of me. In doing so, I want to be remembered. A watch can function properly for decades. A smartwatch certainly can’t.

My wife put it very succinctly the other day when I was discussing this article with her. She said that there’s nothing romantic about a smartwatch. By “romantic” she meant “sentimental” and “interesting”. After all, she is the one who gifted me three out of the four watches I own. One of them I wore on my wedding day. One of them she got me for our anniversary and had it engraved.

You don’t buy someone a smartwatch to wear on their wedding day. You don’t engrave a smartwatch with a message of love.

A smartwatch doesn’t become an indelible mark of your personal style, the way a leather jacket, a pair of old jeans, or a real wristwatch does.

There’s something cold about technology that prevents one from feeling that sentimentality or connection. It’s the same reason we domesticated dogs and not snakes.

From a style point-of-view, a smartwatch will never look as good as a real watch. And in a few years, the smartwatches of today will look hilariously outdated.

Remember in Saved By The Bell when Zack would pull out his phone and it was the size of a shoebox? At the time we all thought it looked pretty cool, because that was the hot new technology. But that’s how you’re going to look in a few years when you look back on pictures of yourself wearing a smartwatch. Your kids will snark, “Wow, cool watch, Dad.”

Wearing a regular watch instead of a smartwatch is one of the easiest style upgrades you can do.

If you want to go ahead and continue wearing your smartwatch because you like being connected all the time or you like seeing all that unnecessary health data, then that’s fine. Just don’t confuse the little plastic thing on your wrist for an actual watch.