5 Things Women Want To See You Wearing
Ok, I know the title is a little clickbait-y. For that, I don’t apologize at all!
Anyway, I’m really looking forward to writing this article because it’s a subject on which I have absolutely no authority!
The subject of this article grew organically from a conversation I was having with my wife the other day during our weekly lunch date. We were chatting about my site and I was curious about her perspective on what women want to see men wearing.
I feel that sometimes we get a little lost within our menswear bubble where we only get the opinions on what we’re wearing from other men.
That’s certainly not a problem, because men are the ones who can advise other men the best on MENSwear (obviously). I wouldn’t feel comfortable giving advice to women on how they should dress because I haven’t lived that experience.
But I COULD give my opinion on what I like to see women wearing. See the difference?
Now, of course this is going to be a little biased. My wife decided to marry me, so she is more than a little attracted to men in classic menswear already. But her answers were really interesting, as were the reasons behind those answers.
This is a very scientific analysis with a study group of exactly one. But my wife has been a woman her whole life so I trust her experiences and opinions on this very important topic.
Without further ado, here are the five things women want to see you wearing…
#1 – White t-shirt and jeans.
This was the FIRST thing out of my wife’s mouth!
What?! No high waisted, pleated, flannel trousers? No collar points that sit perfectly under the lapels of the jacket? No 2-inch trouser cuffs? No curvaceous collar-roll?
I’m going to need to sit down…
Nope, the first thing my wife said was that women want to see a man wearing a white t-shirt and jeans.
Remember how all the girls in high school snapped to attention when the teacher put on A Streetcar Named Desire? It’s all making sense now, isn’t it?
What’s so appealing about a man in a white t-shirt and jeans? Since this was the first thing my wife mentioned I needed to have her unpack it a little.
She said that when a man wears this combination, he conveys competence and maturity.
But how does a white t-shirt and jeans do that?
Well, let’s be frank: you can’t hide your physique in a t-shirt. It’s not like a suit, which does everything it can to emphasize your good parts and hide your not-so-good parts. No, a t-shirt (especially a white t-shirt) puts everything on display for all to see.
That means a white t-shirt is perfect to show off if you are lean or muscular. It shows off that you are, indeed, a man! But, listen up! You don’t NEED to be lean and muscular to look good in a white t-shirt and jeans.
Remember, competence and maturity.
Are you taking care of things around the house? Are you thinking of her even when you’re out? Are you helping with the dishes, laundry, and meals? Are you mowing the lawn, taking out the trash, and chopping the wood? Are you complimenting her looks and her cooking? Are you exercising when you can? All of those things demonstrate your competence and maturity. You don’t need to look like Marlon Brando (although that certainly doesn’t hurt).
But also remember… sure, Brando was handsome and in-shape, but he didn’t have a six-pack. He also wasn’t six-feet-tall. James Dean wasn’t exactly an Adonis. So, don’t hold yourself to an impossible standard.
The attractiveness of the white t-shirt and jeans comes from a man who isn’t afraid to throw himself into the fray. He will handle what needs to be handled. He will push to make sure his family has a secure future. This man isn’t timid or shy. He isn’t afraid to get sweaty or get his hands dirty. He doesn’t need to be a model but he has a respectable level of physical fitness. After all, it’s that physical readiness that means he could keep his family safe if need be.
A white t-shirt and jeans exposes a man for whom he really is. There isn’t any hiding. There isn’t any emphasizing this and de-emphasizing that. It’s just “Can you get stuff done?”
#2 – Suit
Ok, wait a second?! Number one is a white t-shirt and jeans and number two is a suit? I’m getting a little whiplash here!
Trust me, the fact that the first two entries are so disparate on the surface makes a TON of sense when you dig into it…
The attractiveness of a suit to a woman is not surprising at all. There’s a saying that a well-fitting suit to a woman is the equivalent of lingerie to a man.
Again, a suit, like the white t-shirt and jeans, conveys competence and maturity, although it does so in a different way.
While the white t-shirt and jeans conveys a rough-and-tumble readiness, the suit conveys power and instills a confidence in others that things have already been handled. When a woman sees a man in a good suit, she relaxes. She believes he has all his ducks in a row. He has a good job. He has expertise. He is educated. He’s in a position of influence. He’s a leader.
He is most certainly NOT a child!
And THAT’S the important thing to remember about the relationship between entry number one and entry number two!
My wife made it very clear that a man wearing a suit is only attractive if he hadn’t needed to be convinced to wear it.
That means that all those guys who bitch and moan about having to wear a suit for a wedding or church are NOT attractive. If a man can ONLY wear a white t-shirt and jeans but doesn’t know how or when to put on a good suit, neither the white t-shirt and jeans nor the suit will look good on him. You need to be able to do both.
Again, competence and maturity!
#3 – Rugby shirt
This one surprised me, since it was rather specific.
My wife said that a rugby shirt is attractive on a man since it is an excellent middle ground between casual and “dressed up”. It’s an “effortlessly elevated” casual piece that she said was very appealing. It shows that the man knows what he’s doing.
Of course, rugby players are very fit and muscular, so that connotation definitely helps.
#4 – Tailored tweed jacket
Now, THAT’S what I’m talking about? Let’s hear it, menswear bros!
The word my wife used when talking about the attractiveness of the tailored tweed jacket was “distinguished”.
I interpreted that to mean “adult”.
When we get to a certain age, we really should put away certain items of clothing that are really intended for younger men. And that’s not a bad thing. Remember, as men, the older we get, the better we look! So, take advantage of that and wear the hell out of your tweed jacket!
When I worked at a museum in Ireland, my boss was an older man who wore a big wide-brimmed hat and tweed jacket. He used to keep his lit pipe in the pocket of his jacket, which made him smell like pipe smoke all the time. All the archaeological sites we worked on were littered with his spent matches. The guy was awesome.
And he was most certainly distinguished.
Remember, though, that my wife said tailored tweed jacket. I took that to mean a good-quality jacket that you’ve taken the time to get altered to fit you well. What does this convey? Say it with me…
Competence and maturity!
It means you know that you need to get your off-the-rack stuff tweaked to fit you properly. You take the appropriate care to make sure things look good on you. That’s means time invested. You understand the benefit of a good impression. You also understand the value of well-made, hard-wearing, heirloom-quality clothes.
Young, immature men probably don’t have a handsome, well-tailored, tweed jacket hanging in their closet. They probably have a polyester, “going-out” blazer with skinny lapels and contrast stitching.
#5 – Linen shirt (in summer)
This felt like a combination of the “white t-shirt” and the “rugby shirt”. It’s easy/breezy but also an elevated casual look that shows you know what you’re doing. It proves to others that you’ve taken a little bit of extra time to get dressed.
My wife emphasized that you should have it a little unbuttoned. After all, you’ll be wearing this when it’s hot so being all buttoned-up doesn’t make any sense and will make you look uptight.
As I’ve mentioned multiple times already, the constants through all these entries are competence and maturity.
Immaturity is not sexy. You shouldn’t look like you could blend in at a school dance.
My wife said that when a woman sees a man dressed immaturely, she thinks, “Oh great. One more person I need to take care of.”
When a woman sees a man dressed well, though, it gives her the impression that he could take care of her!
THAT’S sexy.
Basically, dressing poorly indicates to a woman that there will be no “providing” going on there.
There’s also the aspect of authenticity. Remember that guy I worked with at the museum in Ireland? I’ve never seen a guy wear a tweed jacket more authentically than him!
So, inauthenticity is a big no-no for women, apparently. It feels like you haven’t “arrived” yet as a man.
But how do you ATTAIN that level of authenticity? Honestly, that’s a whole article for another day, but in a nutshell, you need to practice wearing your clothes in circumstances for which they were originally intended.
Wear a blazer or sport coat to the office or a family dinner. Get a good pair of boots and take your family camping or hiking. Wear a thick, flannel shirt when working in the yard when it’s cold. In other words, DO STUFF! Have interests and hobbies. Get things done. The clothes you wear during those adventures will become an authentic part of you.
Do I feel more “authentic” wearing my wide-brimmed Akubras now that I live in the country? Absolutely, because I actually use them for what they were originally intended.
The last point my wife made was that the reason she finds classic men’s clothing (from white t-shirts to suits and everything in between) so attractive is because it’s SO different from women’s clothes. She said the “unmistakable masculinity” is what’s so appealing.
That means none of that “tight-fit” junk that was so popular a few years ago. There isn’t anything rugged or strong about skinny jeans, that’s why women wear them! If your wife thinks she could feasibly borrow your clothes because they so closely resemble hers, then that’s problematic.
Now, let me stop you before you bring up the fact that much of classic menswear is actually rather unisex. We’ve all seen pictures of Grace Kelly looking like a dish in penny loafers and an oxford-cloth shirt. But those items are styled with other feminine items (earrings, makeup) when worn by a woman and styled with masculine items (jacket, facial hair) when worn by a man. So, even though there are items that are interchangeable between sexes, when YOU wear them, they look manly. When your wife wears her versions of those items, they look feminine.
Everything considered, women want to see men wearing clothes that convey manliness. Women don’t want us to look like clueless, petulant, little kids.
Oh, she also made it very clear that flat-brimmed, baseball caps were a hard pass. And certainly no stickers on the brim.
