There Are No “Cool” Companies – (What I Wish I Knew About The Corporate World When I Started My Career)

Not too long ago I was working from the café of a local library and was sitting next to two young women who appeared to be in their early twenties.

They were likely right out of college, or just finishing up. I could overhear them discussing the ups and downs of their recent job searches.

One of them, full of youthful idealism, said that her goal was to work for a “really cool company.”

Hearing that worried me. I wanted to lean over and say, “Miss, I hate to break it to you… but there are no ‘cool’ companies.”

“Cool” companies do not exist.

The goal of every company is to make money. There’s nothing wrong with that. Sensibly regulated capitalism is the best system we’ve been able to create so far. The point of this article isn’t to demonize that process or to argue that the relationship between a company and its employees should be anything than strictly transactional.

But I wish I knew, or fully realized, that a company’s “coolness” is merely window-dressing which it would trade for an extra buck every time.

If a company seems “cool” on the surface, it’s intentional and done for two reasons. One is to attract talent and the other is to maintain public favor. Both are done with the sole intent of making more money. That’s it. Again, nothing wrong with that. But let’s be clear-eyed about WHY companies try to act “cool”.

“Cool” companies are just like all the rest of them. They will do whatever is dictated by the bottom line and they will not think twice or feel bad about it.

I have worked for a fair share of “cool” companies in the past, as have many of my friends and colleagues. These were companies with flowery mission statements, casual dress codes, ping-pong tables, on-site gyms and visiting massage therapists, free snacks, stock options, conspicuous donations to charities… the whole works.

Window dressing. All of it.

Here are some things that have happened at these ostensibly “cool” companies (either to me or people I know).

Yes, all of them are true…

There was the individual who would regularly berate and shout at coworkers (who were on his same professional level) until they cried. This person was lauded by senior leadership for his “passion” and promoted multiple times.

There was the new-hire who fell and broke both her legs a couple weeks into her employment. The company fired her before her health insurance kicked in because she couldn’t physically go into the office while her legs healed.

There was the manager who told his direct report (a new dad) that he had no future at the company because he would always love his kid more than his job.

There was the company that told its employees that talking to each other during the workday was not permitted.

There was the company that viewed fourteen-hour work days as normal and expected.

There was the European company that deliberately did not offer its USA-based employees any paid parental leave, because they knew they could get away with it.

There was the manager who made derogatory comments about an employee’s ethnicity to their face. That manager went on to hold multiple senior leadership roles at that company.

There was the HR representative who told an employee that working for that company “wasn’t a career”.

There was the company that withheld performance bonuses with no prior warning and let employees open envelopes with pieces of paper that read “$0”.

There was the company that conducted large-scale layoffs right before Christmas.

These sorts of things are not anomalous. They are common in the corporate world. I was surprised by them when I was young, but I am not surprised by them anymore.

This is what I mean by “window dressing”. The “coolness” of any company is only skin-deep. You need to remember that companies do not care about you. They have absolutely zero loyalty to you (not that they should) so you shouldn’t feel any loyalty to them.

That feeling is actually quite freeing because it allows you to see corporate employment for what it is: transactional.

Now, I know that sounds fairly obvious, but sometimes we, like those young ladies in the library, think that we will be happy or fulfilled with our work if we just did it for the right company. The cool company.

That’s not going to happen.

What is more likely to happen is that you’ll think you’ve landed at one of those Unicorn Companies until one of the instances above happens to you. And then you’ll finally see things clearly.

Companies are all the same.

Don’t mistake me, though… I am not saying that you shouldn’t get a corporate job or that you shouldn’t stay in the corporate world for your whole professional career. Most of us will do (and are doing) exactly that. But don’t get bogged down in the anguish that corporations’ awful actions create.

I remember feeling so conflicted when I started to realize the truth. At that time I was working for a company that I really thought was going to be my “forever company”. I wasted a lot of time trying to make myself feel fulfilled, not by the work I did or the life it provided me, but by working at that company.

The company you work for won’t provide you with the fulfillment or the satisfaction you’re looking for. Those things will come from the actual work you do and the life that that work provides for you (financial stability, ability to raise a family, etc).

This might all sound quite cynical, but it’s really not. It’s a way for you to view your relationship with your employer that will ultimately benefit you. You should view the company you work for as a place that pays you well enough and treats you well enough until something better comes along. That mindset will keep you from limiting yourself when it comes to professional prospects.

Remember, it’s not the company that makes you happy. It’s the work you’re doing and the kind of life you’re able to live as a result that makes you happy. If you keep that in mind, you will be less likely to stagnate, professionally.

I wish that girl in the library nothing but good luck.

She’s going to need it.