The Harsh Truth About “Work/Life Balance”

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the start of my professional career and things I could have done differently. Hindsight is 20-20, after all, so I want to pass along my insights to you.

Work/life balance is obviously very important to all of us. But while it is important to strive for, it’s equally as important to realize that it’s not something you can have all the time. There will be seasons of your life when your work/life balance is totally out of whack. And that’s ok.

Those times are usually your “building times” when you’re laying the groundwork for something important, like a promotion at work, or a new business. Those are times when you need to put your head down and grind for a while, to the possible detriment of other areas like recreation or socialization.

There will be times in your life when trying to achieve balance between your work and your regular life makes sense. There are also times when you shouldn’t be worrying about work/life balance.

That’s a problem I see a lot of people, of all ages, dealing with. We have been beaten over the head with the notion that we all need to have perfect work/life balance all the time, and if we don’t, or if we aren’t at least striving for it, then we are not as fulfilled as we could be. We are told we are missing out on life!

But here is what I wish I knew when I was young and getting started in my professional career: when you’re young, like in your twenties or early thirties, you shouldn’t worry about work/balance at all.

Why? Because at that age, you don’t have a life that needs balancing yet!

Ok, I know that sounds mean, but stick with me for a little bit while I explain…

When you’re young, before you have a wife and kids, you should be focused on building yourself professionally. Focusing on that at a young age will put on the right track for tackling the rest of life’s challenges and milestones and help ensure you can enjoy them more fully!

At the early stages of your life, you don’t really need work/life balance because you’re only really taking care of yourself.

The things you want to “balance” are… what, exactly? Getting drinks with acquaintances you won’t talk to in a year? Is your work conflicting with your 7pm rec kickball league? It might be hard to hear, but those things will not be important to you in a few years. You’re not even going to remember the names of any of those people.

You’re much better off primarily focusing on work. The reason why it’s so important to get a head-start on your professional life when you’re young is because you’ll need some professional clout by the time you ACTUALLY need work/life balance!

And when is that?

When you have a family!

If you have been focusing on work/life balance in your twenties, you’re still going to be the low-man on the totem poll at work by the time your kids show up. Trust me, it’s a lot harder to request time off for attending parent-teacher conferences if you’re still stuck in a junior position. If you prioritized work/life balance for all those years instead of getting a leg-up in your career when you had the chance, you’ll be kicking yourself when your life actually gets complicated.

You want to be as senior as possible in your career by the time your kids come along so you don’t have some nitpicky middle-manager giving you the side-eye if you need to call out sick because your toddler gave you a stomach bug.

Don’t confuse my message, though. I’m not saying cut off all your friendships, never go out, and only focus on your job. You clearly need things like social interaction, exercise, and hobbies to stay healthy. If you find yourself in a professional situation where you literally have no time for anything that makes you a happy and unique individual, then you need to get the hell out of there and find a normal place to work. But that’s not what I am referring to here.

And yes, it’s still possible to meet a mate even if you’re focused on work. Focusing on your career doesn’t mean you can’t bump into someone at the gym or the dog park, or ask out the cute barista, or chat up a girl in the grocery store. You might just have to be a little more intentional about it.

What I am saying is that you shouldn’t feel concerned if most of your existence right now revolves around your career. If you’re in your twenties and you find that, each week for instance, you work a couple of late nights, but you’re still able to hit the gym or go for a run most days, and see friends on the weekend, then that’s fine! That’s how it should be at that age.

Oh, but you can’t take multiple vacations a year because you don’t have much PTO? That’s normal. You’ll have more vacation days in a few years when you actually need it… when you’re taking care of kids!

When you’re young, your life is predictable. You have only yourself to worry about. So make hay while the sun is shining! Keep yourself healthy, get those promotions, and get those raises! Lay the strong foundation for when your life becomes much more unpredictable with the arrival of children.

THAT’S when you’re really going to need work/life balance.

So, until you actually have a life, don’t worry about trying to balance it with anything… especially work!