6 Ways To Crush Mother’s Day

Here is some good news. You still have almost a week until Mother’s Day. I know that this day, along with other days like birthdays and Christmas, can cause some stress for men. You want to make the day happy and memorable for your wife, but you’re nervous that what you have planned, or what you bought, isn’t going to be enough.

Sometimes that stress can lead to a bit of analysis paralysis. You have a couple ideas in your mind, but nothing strikes you as a clear-cut homerun. That causes you to overthink things and not really come to any sort of decision on what you’re going to do or buy for your wife.

Take it from me, though… you don’t need to get too worked up about it. Mother’s Day, like any other important day on the calendar, isn’t some Goliath that needs a miracle to slay. If you just take a handful of simple steps, you can ensure that Mother’s Day is a happy and relaxing day for your wife.

#1 – Do the planning yourself.

This is probably the most important thing you can do on your wife’s special day. Your wife DOES NOT want you to ask her what you should do.

Just plan something.

Let me make one thing clear: it doesn’t matter WHAT you have planned. If your wife is a normal person she is going to be appreciative of ANYTHING you’ve planned for Mother’s Day. The women of the family usually do most of the planning for pretty much everything family-related, so she is going to LOVE if she can just sit back and be a passenger for an entire day. More importantly, coordinating all the plans for the day shows that you have put in the time and effort for her. Again, it doesn’t have to be elaborate. But just saying something like “I thought you would enjoy getting your nails done today, so I reserved a spot at your favorite salon for 11am. When you’re done, I’ll pick you up and we can try out that new wine bar” is enough.

Nothing super intricate. But just the fact that you’ve choreographed her day will make her feel special. And that’s the key: making her feel special.

Now, it’s totally fine to straight-up ask your wife if there is anything specific she would like to do on Mother’s Day. I do that with my wife. But the question is more “I want to make sure we actually do what YOU want to do on the day” instead of “I don’t know what to do and need you to tell me”.

Say she has had a really tough few weeks at work lately. Maybe she’ll say “Oh my god, I would love to be able to sleep until like 10am!” Or maybe she has really wanted to watch the last few episodes of a TV show she has been watching. Those are little things that you might not think of yourself but would love if she told you flat-out so you could work them into your plans. There is nothing wrong with that.

But again, the most important thing is to show your wife that you have planned things out for her BECAUSE YOU’VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT HER AND MAKING THIS DAY SPECIAL FOR HER IS A PRIORITY FOR YOU.

Your wife needs to feel like she is your favorite person. I know she is, but she needs to feel it.

One year, for my wife’s birthday, I planned a little weekend trip to Portland, Maine. I planned out what we would do for almost every hour of every day, including making all the necessary meal reservations (and ensuring we had out-of-the-way tables since we were dining with a four-month-old baby). My wife didn’t have to think about ANYTHING for like three straight days; I just told her what we were doing and when we were doing it.

Six years later, my wife still talks about how it was one of the best gifts she has ever received.

#2 – Get her a gift.

You’re not getting out of this one. You NEED to get your wife a gift for Mother’s Day. Again, it doesn’t need to be big, elaborate, or expensive. The old saying still holds true that it’s the thought that counts.

I wrote an article some time ago about how to buy gifts for your wife. Study that article and commit the points to memory because that article is going to help transform you into an expert gift-giver. As long as you put a little thought into what you got for your wife, she is going to love it. Not every gift is a winner, and that’s ok. Just make sure it’s evident that you took her likes and interests into consideration.

If you’re this close to Mother’s Day and you still don’t have a gift, there is still time! I know it’s cliché, but at this stage your best bets are jewelry stores and flower shops. I know that as men, we tend to think that our women are super complicated when it comes to their tastes. I think that comes from the assumption that since OUR tastes are rather simple and we are the opposite of our wives, we believe that THEIR tastes must be equally complex. I don’t think that’s the case. I don’t think any woman would turn her nose up at a sparkly think in a velvet box or a bouquet of her favorite flowers.

#3 – Give her the option of time to herself.

Not all women will want this on Mother’s Day, and that’s ok. But make sure your wife has the option of having time to herself.

That means: let her sleep in! Let her sleep in for as long as she wants!

She’ll probably take you up on that offer. My wife doesn’t usually sleep in for very long (say, 9am or so at the absolute latest) since she is a light sleeper, but I always give her the option of sleeping in for however long she wants.

Beyond that, I know that some women want to be left alone for a portion of the day. That’s ok. If that sounds like your wife, take the kids out for a few hours so your wife can get some quiet time. Take the kids to the park and then to lunch at a diner. You can even just play with them outside for an hour or two while your wife relaxes in the living room with a glass of wine.

The key here is to not bother your wife for the period of time that she is taking for herself. If the kids need anything during that time YOU need to handle it. That includes getting any snacks they need, bandaging any scrapes they get, or managing any tantrums they may have.

Allow your wife to turn off her brain for a little while just like YOU like to do on your special days!

#4 – Spend time with her.

I know this sounds like it contradicts my previous point, but I assure you, it does not.

Even though your wife is going to want some alone time on Mother’s Day, the people she most likely wants alone time from IS THE CHILDREN (for a portion of the day, anyway).

She still wants some quality time with you. That means that you need to carve out some time for just her and you. I find that the best time to do that is after the kids go to bed.

You guys are probably well aware at this point, from reading this site, that, on special days, my wife and I like to get dressed up and have a nice dinner date after we put the kids to bed. I recommend you do the same.

Here is what you do. Run the kids around for a chunk of the afternoon and get them good and tired. Feed them an early dinner of something they love that’s EASY for you to make. Lately, my boys have been loving pork chops with a drizzle of truffle olive oil (weird, I know) so I’ll do that, or something equally simple like chicken nuggets.

Stuff them up and then get them into bed nice and early so you can focus on making your wife a nice dinner. And that brings me to my next point…

#5 – Handle ALL the cooking.

On Mother’s Day, you need to do ALL THE COOKING. Yes, all of it.

That means you need to cook every meal for every person for the entire day. Your wife shouldn’t do ANY cooking on Mother’s Day. If she absolutely loves cooking and cooking makes her happy and she WANTS to cook on Mother’s Day, then fine. But for the most part, you should be handling all the cooking for her and for the kids.

“What about going out to a restaurant?”

Ah, I’m glad you asked! In my opinion, Mother’s Day is one of the WORST days to go out to a restaurant. The reasons for that are because the reservations are almost impossible to get, the place will be absurdly crowded, the service will be sub-par and the food will be cold given the number of people and how busy the staff will be. Oh, and the restaurant will be trying to get you out of there as quickly as possible so they can seat the next reservation.

All in all, it will NOT be a very relaxing experience.

That is why I believe it’s better to plan for at-home meals on Mother’s Day, unless your wife specifically wants something different.

#6 – Have the kids make her cards.

This is so easy and fast! At some point this week, sit down with the kids with a couple blank sheets of paper and some markers and have them create cards for your wife.

The walls of my office are adorned with old pictures my boys have drawn for me over the years. I cherish them every day.

When they create these cards for your wife, make sure you jot down the date in the upper corner. Over time, you’re going to forget what year they made each card, so putting the date on the card is important. I love seeing the changes in my sons’ handwriting from year to year.

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, it’s not the actual stuff you do or the stuff you get for your wife on Mother’s Day that’s important. The important thing is that you took the time to plan something out for her. It’s the PLANNING that will make her feel special because it means that you spent time thinking about her and what she would like.

Is there a chance you’ll get it wrong? Sure. But as long as it’s clear that there was effort, thought, and love put into the decision-making, I am confident your wife will love whatever you have cooked up.

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