Guys! Sometimes Parenting Actually Works!

What you are about to read is irrefutable proof that sometimes the things we say to our kids (and the lessons we try to teach them) actually stick!

The other day my seven-year-old son and I had a very winding and wide-ranging conversation which ultimately led back to a lesson I had tried to impart to him years prior. Stick with me and it will all make sense…

He and I initially began talking about the glass used in vehicles. I told him that that glass is different from the glass in regular windows and the materials used in vehicles are meant to keep people safe in the event of a crash.

He then asked what vehicles are made of. He had a hard time remembering the word “aluminum” and, instead, said “platinum”. I explained that platinum is different and is a metal used mostly in the production of jewelry. I then said that my wedding ring is partially made of platinum.

From there, I told him that even though things like platinum and gold are what we call “precious metals” there is no inherent value in those metals over something like aluminum. Their value is assigned by people and is relatively arbitrary. Basically, we have decided that sparkly metals are cool and people are willing to pay more for them… so as a result, those metals are more “valuable” than others.

But, in reality, they’re all just stuff that’s dug out of the ground. We just decide one thing is more valuable than another based on what people are willing to pay for it. A diamond is just a sparkly rock, for instance.

On the topic of assigned value, I told him that my wedding ring is valuable to me, not only because it’s made of “precious” metals, but because of the dings and scuffs in it. The fact that it represents my commitment to Mommy and the fact that it has accumulated wear and tear over our ten-year marriage makes it valuable to me.

He then asked if I would ever polish my ring. I told him probably not. I then said that one of the reasons I like clothes so much is because they help me remember people and the fun things I did with them. The dings and scuffs on my ring make me remember all the wonderful things about being married to Mommy.

I said it’s better to wear something and get it scuffed up than to never wear it for fear of “ruining” it. Because if you never use it, you’ll never develop a connection to it.

And this is what he said next that confirmed that, indeed, sometimes parenting actually works!…

He said (and I am paraphrasing to the best of my memory), … “Oh yeah, just like a couple years ago when I got upset that my new bike got a scratch on it. You said that if I had a perfect bike with no scratches it would mean I never rode it and never had fun playing with it. So, I would rather have a bike with scratches than one without scratches.”

YES! Exactly right!

I was so pleased that he had actually absorbed a lesson of mine! And I made sure to tell him that.

Now, here’s the lesson for YOU, though. The reason we had this exchange and the reason he was able to recall something I said and connect it to something in the present (and presumably learn from it) was because he and I were having a conversation before that. This profound lesson came from, initially, a casual conversation about car windows. It morphed over about ten minutes into the actual lesson.

If I had not been having a free-flowing conversation with my son, the “lesson” would have never materialized.

So, when you’re around your kids, try not to be distracted. Of course you don’t have to be staring them in the face every minute, but make sure you’re open to having those free-wheeling talks that could take you anywhere.

Put away your phone. Turn off the TV. If your kid looks like he wants to talk, take him up on that offer.