Don’t Bother With Bespoke Ties
A lot of the advice I give on this site centers around not being too fussy or fastidious with your appearance.
When I first got into menswear, I thought that the details were everything so I obsessed over little things like the amount of shirt cuff showing beneath my jacket sleeve, or the amount of break of my trouser legs.
Unfortunately, I was missing the forest for the trees. I was so obsessed with the details, that I lost sight of what the overall picture was supposed to be.
In short: I was too anxious and balled-up in the things that didn’t really matter all that much. Not only did those little things not matter, but NOT worrying about them actually made me appear more stylish.
That brings me to ties.
In this day and age, if one wears a tie, it’s more-often-than-not a choice rather than a requirement. Because of that, it’s noticed much more now than in decades past.
99% of the time, I am the only guy wearing a tie at a nice restaurant, for instance. The tie was a conscious choice on my part. No one forced me to wear it.
Basically, ties get noticed. Because they get noticed, men sometimes get a little too bogged down in their appearance. Unfortunately, that is what sometimes makes their appearance less-than-ideal.
Back when men wore ties all the time, the individual appearance of a man’s tie varied from day to day. Some men took time in the morning to arrange their ties perfectly, sure, but some men tied their ties hastily before heading out the door to grab a cup of coffee or tied them sans mirror after working out at the gym.
Men loosened their ties on hot days and cinched them back up again for client meetings. Others left them askew until they returned home at the end of a long day.
What I’m getting at here is that there was a lot of variation in the way men’s ties looked. Not everyone had a proper dimple. Not everyone’s ties terminated right at their waistline. Not everyone’s ties had the wide end longer than the thin end.
Everyone just put on their ties and went about their day. They wore them all the time, so their ties had more of a chance to look different from day to day and occasion to occasion. Their ties were worn with such frequency that they weren’t tied with fanatic precision. They weren’t special… they were just another part of one’s daily outfit.
Because ties are rare these days (relative to the mid-20th century), a lot of men feel that they need to be PERFECT when it comes to their ties. Social media doesn’t help as men see thousands of men in perfectly posed shots, not ACTUAL men navigating real life.
Specifically, they think their tie needs to be the perfect length. They think anything but looks sloppy and amateurish.
But here is what those men don’t yet realize… a tie is never the perfectlength. Why is that? Well, let me explain…
General guidelines state that a tie, when tied, should end roughly around the wearer’s belt line and the two ends of the tie should be relatively the same length with the wide end ideally a little longer than the thin end.
But here are some problems with that advice…
Do all your trousers have exactly the same rise? I bet not. I bet all your trousers sit at a slightly different spot on your waist. If you’re wearing a belt, your waistband might slide down slightly at various times of the day. That means that your tie isn’t going to “hit” at the same point on your pants all the time.
Are all your ties of the same fabric thickness? I bet not. I bet most of your ties are silk, but the thickness of the silk can vary from tie to tie. Some of your ties are also probably made of wool or cotton or linen or any combination of those aforementioned fabrics. The thickness of your tie makes a difference in how that tie appears when tied, as a thicker tie will appear shorter when knotted at the same place as a thinner tie.
Do you always tie the same kind of knot? I bet not. Sure, most guys just tie a four-in-hand but some men like to dabble in half or full Windsors. The kind of knot you tie changes a tie’s apparent length, since some knots require more fabric.
Lastly, do you tie your shoes in exactly the same way every single time? I bet not. I bet you tie them generally the same way every time, but if you were to measure the sizes of the bow loops from day to day I bet you would notice some variation.
It’s no different than with a tie. Yes, I try to wrap and knot my ties in the same places on the fabric each time, but it’s never exactly identical as the time before. That means the length of my tie blades are never completely alike from wear to wear.
This all means that with ties, it’s pretty hard to get them to be EXACT no matter how hard we try. Our fathers and grandfathers knew this, which is why they didn’t let it bother them. They wore ties so often that a little irregularity here and there was just part of what it meant to wear a tie.
But nowadays you have men who see that irregularity as a major problem. And they have decided that the solution to that problem is to go bespoke.
Now, if you are Kareem Abdul-Jabbar or Danny Devito or someone else with extreme proportions, then yes, of course go bespoke with your clothing, as it’s probably very difficult for you to find clothes off the rack that fit you even passably. I get that. This article is not for people who very clearly need custom clothes.
This article is for people who are of relatively middle-of-the-road body types. YOU GUYS don’t need bespoke ties. And here’s the reason why…
A bespoke tie won’t solve your problems.
Ok, so you decided that a regular, off-the-rack, (approximately) 58 inch tie is too long or short for you. Fine. So you commission a custom tie which is 56 inches (or 60 inches, or whatever). You pay a lot of money for it. You get it home and excitedly put it on in the mirror only to discover that the tie is only the right length in relation to your trousers when worn only with the exact trousers you wore to your tailor appointment. Furthermore, you find that the silk used is a touch thinner than you anticipated which makes the tie appear a little longer than the measurement suggests. Lastly, you usually wear belts and you find that the tie appears unflatteringly short as you go about your day and your pants slide down ever so much until you remedy it in the men’s room.
Do you see the problem here?
Whether your tie is a little shorter or a little longer… you’re still going to run into the exact same problems as before because NO TIE IS EVER PERFECT.
You cannot have “tie perfection” every single time, regardless of its length or fabric.
You’re not going to be able to knot it in the same place every time. You’re not going to wear the same exact trousers every single day with the same exact rise. There are just too many variables that contribute to the look of an individual tie at an individual moment on an individual day.
I am six-feet-tall and my smart trousers are mostly all mid-rise. Most of my ties take one or two efforts before they look right. Some of my ties knot beautifully in roughly the same place each time. Some don’t. I have some ties that tie big, fat knots and others that tie little, tight knots. I even have a great navy, grenadine that only ties an attractive knot when the thin end is longer than the wide end. Could I get a bespoke tie or have that tie adjusted? I mean, I guess I could, but who has that kind of time?
Are you a busy dad? Then taking the time to get bespoke ties really doesn’t make sense. Ties aren’t like suits or sport coats which need a certain baseline level of adjustment to look good. Ties are relatively cheap and should be viewed as somewhat disposable. (Obviously, you aren’t disposing of your ties often, I just mean that they shouldn’t be viewed as super precious. They’re just decorations, after all).
And being too hyper-focused on the EXACT appearance of your tie, down to the centimeter, points to the probability that you aren’t all that relaxed in your own style to begin with.
THAT is going to cause you to look way less stylish than a tie that’s an inch or two too long or short.
So even though you might see some advice on the internet that stresses bespoke everything, relax in the knowledge that you don’t have to shell out the money and time for bespoke ties, even if you find that yours aren’t perfect.
For regular-proportioned men, bespoke ties are just not worth it.
