Father’s Day is fast approaching! Here is a link to a previous Father’s Day article and here is one about things I learned from my dad.

Father’s Day is a great day, isn’t it? I hope you guys look forward to Father’s Day the way I do. My wife and kids always do such a phenomenal job creating a special, memorable day for me.

I am incredibly lucky to have such caring, thoughtful people in my life!

But here’s the thing with Father’s Day…

You have to earn it.

Yes, it’s awesome having people dote on you for a day or take things off your plate so you can do whatever you want. But you need to earn those kind gestures.

Father’s Day is a day where everyone celebrates hardworking dads. The individual who first championed the concept was inspired by her own father who was a widowed Civil War veteran who raised his 6 kids by himself.

So… THAT’S the kind of guy that Father’s Day was created to honor… the brave man who endured tragedy and worked tirelessly to provide for his children.

THAT’S the kind of guy worth celebrating!

Not the guy who makes fun of his wife to his golf buddies. Not the guy who would rather play video games than spend time with his kids. Not the guy who skims a little off the top of the family nest egg for sports gambling. Not the guy who uses weaponized incompetence to worm his way out of chores.

Father’s Day is not for those guys.

When it comes to Father’s Day, you need to be the kind of father (and husband) who is worthy of a day of celebration.

Some people might take offense to that statement. They might think that they deserve to be celebrated simply because they are dads. But that’s not how Father’s Day is supposed to work.

Father’s Day isn’t a participation trophy. You don’t get to be celebrated simply because you sired offspring.

No, Father’s Day needs to be earned. You need to work for it the other 364 days of the year.

Work hard. Prioritize time with your family. Monitor your language and tone with your wife and kids. Tell them you love them every day. Take on as much of the household tasks as you can. Anticipate things your wife might need in order to help her days go as smoothly as possible (since I am sure she is doing the same for you). Tell your kids you’re proud of them.

When I put my sons to bed, I always tell them that they are very special and that Daddy and Mommy love them with all our hearts. My youngest son always laughs and says, somewhat exasperatedly, “I know! You tell me every day!”

If your kids are sick of hearing how much you love them, then you have earned your Father’s Day.

If your wife can’t wait for you to get home each day, you have earned your Father’s Day.

If you have goals and the drive to achieve those goals all while balancing that ambition with your duties as husband and father, then you have earned your Father’s Day.

If you are intentional about your parenting, then you have earned your Father’s Day.

If you brag about your family and never speak ill of your wife or kids to other people, then you have earned your Father’s Day.

If working hard to provide a comfortable life for your family gives you a warm, contented glow and not cold resentment, then you have earned your Father’s Day.

If your kids come to you for advice, you have earned your Father’s Day.

Remember that the first Father’s Day was for the kind of guy who raised his 6 kids by himself. Father’s Day wasn’t intended for ALL fathers. It was intended for the special fathers. The ones who are out there kicking ass. The ones who doing their damnedest to spread positivity and raise their children with love and understanding.

Father’s Day is for the dads who know they can never do enough. It’s for the dads who are trying and failing and succeeding and worrying and laughing and crying. It’s for the dads who realize that they are the lucky ones to be part of their children’s lives, not the other way around.

Father’s Day is for the humble dads. The happy dads. The appreciative dads. It’s not for the lazy dads or the chip-on-their-shoulder dads or the martyr dads.

My goal with Father Style has always been to help other men become the best possible versions of themselves. I realize that some guys reading this might be upset when they realize that Father’s Day isn’t for them. But you guys know that I don’t coddle my audience. Anyone looking for bland, milquetoast, wishy-washy, non-direct, AI-generated content can look elsewhere.

I get it… self-improvement is hard. At times, really hard. But that constant drive to be better than we were yesterday is integral to our manhood. Progress isn’t linear, we all know that, but we should be striving each day to be better husbands and dads.

When Father’s Day rolls around, it should feel like a relief. You should feel the same satisfied fatigue that comes after a great workout. Kind of like taking a water break while on a challenging hike. Sure, it’s hard work, but it’s really enjoyable at the same time! Because that’s what our lives should be, shouldn’t they? They should be work… but joyful, fulfilling work that fills our souls with love and appreciation because we are building something special.

On Father’s Day, when you kick your feet up with a cold beer as your wife preps dinner and your kids give you their handmade cards, how do you feel? If you feel like you’re the luckiest guy in the world, then you’re doing the whole “dad” thing right.

But if you feel a little like an imposter… then that might be evidence that you didn’t really earn the day.

Don’t get down on yourself, though. The day comes around every year so go out and earn that next one!